Archive for August, 2011

10
Aug
11

3 Reasons Why You Should Go Here (and one reason why you shouldn’t)

 

 

I know it’s been a while since I’ve updated, but every once in a while something so revolutionary, so inconceivable straddles my lap, thrusts its boobs in my face, and demands a post.  I’m talking of course of the Strip Club Insider.  Go there.  Now.

 

Still here?  Figures.  This site’s too awesome to abandon without a fight, I know, and that’s why I have four reasons why you must:

 

1. Strippers Are Cool

Some argue that strippers are lame, or that strip clubs exploit women.  This is false.  Why?  Because it’s not true.  Proof, you say?  I ask you: in what warped view of the world is THIS mixed in with a dose of THIS, forming something like THIS not equal cool?  And exploiting women?  Well, take a look at THIS?  Case closed.  Strippers are cool.

 

2. The Site Doesn’t Suck

It’s a blog, updated frequently, about strippers.  Huh.  I tried to think of a reason why someone might disagree with this being listed as a positive thing, but other than LESBIANS, SHRILL HARPIES, RAGING BULL-DYKES, and MORBIDLY OBESE CHICKS, who could possibly cry foul?  And who cares about them anyway?  Honestly, did anyone click those links?

 

3. The Dude Just, Like, Whips His Dick Out

Now, this might, at first, seem like a bad thing.  It’s not.  Whipping your dick out is probably the best thing you can do in any circumstance.  Think about it: if Freud had just started whipping his dick out, there’d be no such thing as psychoanalysis.  It’s like:

“Penis envy?  Castration fear?  These are very concerning issues, but here’s my dick.  It’s hanging out the front of my Victorian Era trousers.  Look at it.  Yep, I’m showing you my dick.”

Hell, I’m whipping my dick out right now, both because it’s the right thing to do, and also I don’t give a fuck.  Strip Club Insider has his dick whipped out 24/7.  It’s whipped out on gossip; it’s whipped out on current events; it’s whipped out in anecdotes.  When you read that blog, just know that the guy wrote it with his dick hanging out of his pants, not giving a fuck.

 

 

Why you shouldn’t?  Because you’re a “I don’t even have a dick to whip out” kind of PUSSY.

 

 

Oh, and Strip Club Insider isn’t me.  In case it might read that way.