Phoebe Cates Continues Doing Nothing Newsworthy, Though Kevin Kline Has His Suspicions

Phoebe Cates was photographed on the red carpet several years ago. I’m not sure what event, premiere, or award ceremony she was attending…

She was tan when this picture was taken; she looks healthy too. It’s rare to see a good photograph of Phoebe Cates since she retired from full-time show business to focus on being a mother of two children with Kevin Kline.

Known best for her work done in her late teens, she has been in some other things too.

Her son, Owen, received rave reviews for his performance in The Squid and the Whale. An admirable accomplishment for a boy too young to see photographs of Phoebe Cates like THIS famous scene, released when she was 19. Or THIS other one from the previous year.

Not that he’d want too anyway… unless he’s a pervert.

Things Just Couldn’t Be Better For Perez

Gossip blogger Perez Hilton (real name: Mario Lavandeira) has been caught up in an (unexciting) sex-tape scandal of his own.

According to the New York Post, Jonathan Jaxson, another young blogger, sent Hilton sexually explicit tapes of himself as a result of promises for promotion for Jaxson’s own GOSSIP SITE.

‘He told me he would give me stories for my blog,’ Jaxson said. ‘He used me.’

Granted, Perez is pretty lame. And his site is pretty lame. But it’s far from being the lamest site on the internet - that honor goes to THIS SITE, which is so unnecessary that I was sure was a sham until I read Lindsay Lohan’s non-committal, barely coherent ‘endorsement’ trumpeted on the Celebrity Statements section.

The aspect of this scandal that makes it ridiculous is the fact that, apparently, of the billions of real (and fake) people on the internet, Mario couldn’t get anyone to send him a sex tape without an ulterior motive. And he’s well-known.

Kinda sad, isn’t it?

Good Clean Fun With Mushrooms and Plumbers

New from the endless catalog of vaguely creepy endorsements come the Super Mario Bath Bombs - effervescent balls that melt into yellow foam in the tub, leaving one of five collectible figurines.

As fun and interesting as these things would be (and, oh my, I am excited) I think the real story here is Nintendo / Japan’s fierce dedication and innovation in recycling.  Or, so I assume, at least…

I mean, I know this isn’t in the official product description, but what else could these things possible be except some fancy packaging around the natural byproduct of a certain earlier Mario product.

Man, I can’t believe that I wasted all of my fizzy yellow Mario Bombs on the wrong bathroom fixture…