I know this is some pretty old news, but… get over it.

For those of you who don’t live to read US Magazine - pseesh - the forty year old former child star married a 22 year old non-famous girl in Nevada, and then kept it a secret for 6 months at which point he went on TV saying that they haven’t slept together, and that he loves it when she sells his stuff on eBay.

I hate to dredge this up again, but does any part of this story make sense?

I mean, I understand why Gary would marry her, because she’s pretty good looking (for Gary Coleman), but why keep it a secret?

Unless she didn’t want to become quasi-famous for marrying Gary Coleman… but why? For his commercials for CashCall..?

Or does she just love eBay so much that the concept of selling all of a broke Gary Coleman’s possessions made her vagina foam uncontrollably.

But why no sex? Why talk about it?

HERE’S a picture of the happy couple, and they do look happy. So happy it’s almost sad.