PETA is Bringing Subtlety Back to the Art of Protest

PETA’s always had a kind of nervous habit as far as public nudity goes… and by nervous habit I mean young cute naked chicks. Mostly interns, according to PETA’s official site.

You know, I think every company and organization should try and find a way to incorporate nudity into company literature and promotion. Personally, I’m kind of tired of getting pre-approved credit card offers from a business that can’t even manage to talk an easily influenced girl into public nudity.  And what about those people standing around on street corners asking for money to stop global warming?  Just think about it.  Or pizza delivery?  Or the DMV?

And don’t even get me started on Victoria’s Secret. That place is just completely missing the point.
Slightly back on track, PETA doesn’t just get college freshman, they get celebrities naked too - like Alicia Silverstone, Eva Mendes, Steve-O [Yeah, no link there wise guy] Sophie Monk…

B-List celebrities aside, PETA’s real legacy, aside from all the actual work it does, are all the averagely cute girls and the occasional stand-out gymnast, vegan, pure-bundle-of-positive, um, hotness that they get to pose. Naked. Here.

Now, I’m going to go heat up some To-Furky…

Because I’m cool like that.

Gary Coleman is Well-Adjusted and Still Happily Married

I know this is some pretty old news, but… get over it.

For those of you who don’t live to read US Magazine - pseesh - the forty year old former child star married a 22 year old non-famous girl in Nevada, and then kept it a secret for 6 months at which point he went on TV saying that they haven’t slept together, and that he loves it when she sells his stuff on eBay.

I hate to dredge this up again, but does any part of this story make sense?

I mean, I understand why Gary would marry her, because she’s pretty good looking (for Gary Coleman), but why keep it a secret?

Unless she didn’t want to become quasi-famous for marrying Gary Coleman… but why? For his commercials for CashCall..?

Or does she just love eBay so much that the concept of selling all of a broke Gary Coleman’s possessions made her vagina foam uncontrollably.

But why no sex? Why talk about it?

HERE’S a picture of the happy couple, and they do look happy. So happy it’s almost sad.

Gemma Atkinson is Some Nice, Tasty Filler

I generally run a tight news machine here, but I felt the need to share a human interest story with you.

Gemma Atkinson is holding some huge bowling balls.

You might not be able to tell from this photograph, but, well… let’s just say that those bowling balls are pretty good substitutes for two other giant round things…

Now, I run an family friendly enterprise here, so that’s as bad as I’m going to get. No naughty Gemma pictures like THIS one, or THIS other one, or THIS other one…

Mmm, now that’s some good filler.

Jarvis Cocker Knows Exactly What He’s Doing

For anyone who doesn’t have any idea who these people are - and didn’t see their performance at the NME Awards - hang your eyes upon the new Sonny and Cher of indie-pop.

Jarvis Cocker and some fat chick with a tramp stamp.

Well, Beth Ditto… So, some fat chick with a tramp stamp and a really loud voice.

The performance is actually pretty good, and Jarvis Cocker’s the man, so I’ll forgive him for allowing this picture to exist - though he kind of already kind of redeems himself by attempting to will himself into invisibility with his psychic powers… or whatever the hell he’s doing in this photograph.

If I didn’t know it was Beth Ditto I’d think it was pretty cool… I mean, what could be better than Jarvis making things explode with his mind while posing like a GI Joe next to a swollen tranny goldfish with a tramp stamp..?

Anyone want to make an animated series?

Their live version of Heaven 17’s dubiously classic track ‘Temptation’ is available exclusively on digital download from iTunes, with the proceeds going to some weird English charity; something about sheltering kids and puppies and stroking.